No more telemarketing-bullshit

Ever experienced this ? You're sitting on your couch, watching TV when your cellphone starts vibrating on the table. You see the number, don't recognize it and wonder whose disturbing you. You pick up the phone.

"Hello sir, I'm calling from XYXYX bank, are you interested in opening a savings account with us ?"

Frustrated, you open your mouth to say, "NO, I'm NOT interested, don't EVER call me again !".

And you get the same call a couple of days later.


Well, I get telemarketing calls like this all the time and it sure irritates the shit out of me. But we may get relief from this soon ! The Indian Government has made a move towards this and are planning to create a "Do Not Call List". Subscribers like us can register on this list, and the next time a firm violates this, they will be fined Rs. 500 for any call they make to us or any message they send to us. Repetition of the offence can lead to their disconnection !

Finally, this trend of "mobile spam" could come to an end !

The Princess Replies

Read the previous post first, in case you haven't read it.

Okay, so after sending that junk reply back to the "princess", I thought that she'll be smart enough not to reply back. The great thing about these scammers are that they're so stupid and greedy they'll believe anything you say to wipe your back account clean.

So I opened up my inbox and I was surprised to see a reply from the princess. Here it goes :

from princess mariam
subject Hello my dear Sameer Puri,

Hello my dear Sameer Puri,

How are you today? I hope all is ok. I am very glad to receive your response towards my investment proposal to you,I am believing God to grant me my pursuance to see this money transfered into your account which I believe will be secured in your hand. Since my father died,my father's kinsmen are trying all they can to revert this money into their own private account because my only brother is still tender and my mother died when she was giving birth of my only brother idris.

I am the only grown up person in my family that can handle this because I am 25 years old and I am in my third year in the university.

In a brief introduction of myself,I am Princess Mariam Diarra,the only daughter of late King Abou Diarra the traditional ruler of Kaolack kingdom in eastern part of Senegal,I am 25 years old and I am still in the university. my father's palace is located at no 18 to 21 Emefoire avenue Kaolack.I believe that the above introduction will be enough for you to have a total confidence in me .

In other for me to introduce you to the finance firm as my foreign next of kin in which this money will be transfered to his account,I want you to send the below information to me so that I will send it to the finance firm.

(1) YOUR FULL NAME AND RESIDENTIAL ADDRESS
(2) YOUR PHONE AND FAX NUMBER
(3) YOUR OCCUPATION
(4) YOUR AGE
(5) YOUR PHOTOGRAPH


I assure you that this will be successful if only you can be truthful to me and work towards my intrustructions and directives. I will be coming to your country immediately this money get into your account for disbursement on agreed ratio.While you will equally help me to invest my own share of the money in your country.

I attached my pics for you but please do not expose my pic to any body,remember that I am a princess and I am very popular in my country and I will not like to be exposed please i need to be protected and the princess must be protected.

Meanwhile i will like you to call me imediately you receive this mail so that we can talk heart to heart with this number +221-2000162 please call me imediately you recieve this mail so that i will know that you reccieve it.now am preparing to go for lectures.

I will send the finance firm contact to you when you send all the requested informations hoping that you will not betray the trust that I repose on you.
I am waiting for your Reply.

Remain blessed
Princess Mariam

And attached were these pictures of Princess Mariam :

(similiar to the primate?)

After looking at those pictures my mouth started foaming and as I thought, why didn't the Queen get this piece of shit aborted ?

I pondered, whether I could handle more of this Princess Mariam, and I decided to send her (/him?) another reply :

Hello Princess Mariam,

Please note that you've got my name wrong. Its "Ben Dover", just as I signed off my last email to you. Anyways, getting back to our business. Your sense of understanding and command over language satisfies me and I'm sure I can trust you. But today was a bad day for me. A tree fell on my car and I broke my mobile phone. I really cannot afford a new phone now. And I'm having mouth ulcers (very painful!).

If you could help me out with my mouth ulcers I'll be really happy and willing to go ahead with this cool deal of yours. Boy I can't wait for those armoured trucks lining in front of my shack and unloading those bundles of money !

Oh, before I forget, let me mention that you indeed are, very beautiful, and definitely look like a princess. I was wondering whose eyes those are, staring at you, in the second picture ! Are those the eyes of your evil countrymen who want to snatch away those dollars of yours ? Oh and please Princess Mariam, please send me a couple of more pictures of yours, I've really developed a liking towards you and I start salivating when I see your picture. Today I printed one of your pictures and I was staring at it and believe me, I was salivating so much I ended up soaking your picture.

I'll send you my information as soon as you send me more pictures of you. I feel like singing that song, you know, by that artist who starts stripping in his songs...you know, "You're Beautiful".

Waiting eagerly for your reply

Ben Dover
(CEO, Pirates Inc.)

After that reply, I'm sure I won't be bothered by the princess again. Or am I wrong ? Let's wait and watch ;)

The Nigerian Scam lives on !

Ever read/heard about Nigerian scam ? Never mind, read on :

I'm sick of receiving spam in my email and I'm dreading the day when the amount of spam I receive crosses the amount of useful mail I get. Anyways, this scam's being going on for a very long time (thanks to the bozos in our society who provide scammers with their bank info). So here's an email (spam) I received from a certain "princess" in Senegal who found my email from the Big Book of Cool People and thought she'd like to share her US$22 million with me. Here it is, without any modifications made, the exact words I read :

from princess rosemary
subject Hello my daer,

Hello my daer,
I am writing this letter in confidence believing that if it is the
wish of God for you to help me and my family, God almighty will bless and reward you aboundantly and you would never regret this. I am a female student from University of Senegal,Dakar.

I am 25 yrs old. I am like any person who can be caring, loving and home oriented despite the fact that I am from royal family. I will love to have a long-term relationship with you and to know more about you. I would like to build up a solid foundation with you in time coming if you can be able to help me in this transaction.

Well, my father died earlier ten months ago and left I and my junior brother behind. He was a king, which our town citizens titled him over sixteen years before his death.I was a princess to him and I am the only person who can take care of his wealth now because my junior brother is still young and my mother died when she was giving birth to my junior brother idirs. my father left the sum of USD 22,000,000 dollars (TWENTY TWO MILLION US DOLLARS,)in a security company.This money was annually paid into my late fathers account from Shell petroleum development company(spdc)and chevron oil company operating in our locality for the compensation of youth and community development in our jurisdiction. I don't know how and what I will do to invest this money somewhere in abroad, so that my father's kindred will not take over what belongs to my father and our family, which they were planning to do without my present because I am a female as stated by our culture in the town.

Now,i urgently need your humble assistance to move this money from the security company to your bank account, That is why I felt happy when I saw your contact because I strongly believe that by the grace of God, you will help me invest this money wisely. I am ready to pay 20% of the total amount to you if you help us in this transaction and another 10% interest of Annual After Income to you, for handling this transaction for us, which you will strongly have absolute control over.

If you can handle this project sincerely and also willing to assist me in lifting this fund,note that this transaction is 100% risk free and I hope to commence the transaction as quick as possible, I will send you my photograph as soon as I hear from you.

Yours sincerely,
Princess Mariam

Now while wondering how Princess Rosemary became Princess Mariam through the course of that email addressed to daer me, I got really eager to f*** around with this Princess. After all who doesn't want a Senegalese Princess' picture in their inbox and a couple of millions dollars in their bank account ?

So I replied to Mariam :

subject Re:Hello my daer,

Hello Princess Mariam,

I'm really sorry for what happened to you and your family. I'm hoping for your well-being and shit...and those dollars. I'm eager to work with you here, please please send me your picture, so I can spend my time dreaming about you, the Senegalese princess of my dreams.

This sounds like an incredible investment opportunity for me and I hope I can trust your financial judgement. Praise the lord you contacted me !

Please contact me back as soon as possible and do let me know what I can do to claim that fat cheque of $22 million !

- Ben Dover
(CEO, Pirates Inc.)

Now I'm eagerly waiting for Mariam/Rosemary's reply :)

Latest Orkut Post is Spam!!

The new spam on Orkut is flooding mailboxes nowadays :

"HEY ITS DIANNA, FROM THE DIRECTOR OF ORKUT,EVERYBODY SORRY FOR THE INTERRUPTION BUT ORKUT IS CLOSING THE SYSTEM DOWN BECAUSE TOO MANY BOTTERS ARE TAKING UP ALL THE NAMES, WE ONLY HAVE 57 NAMES LEFT, IF YOU WOULD LIKE TO CLOSE YOUR ACCOUNT, DONT SEND THIS MESSAGE, IF YOU WANT TO KEEP YOUR ACCOUNT ,SEND THIS MESSAGE TO EVERYONE ON YOUR LIST. THIS IS NOT A JOKE, YOU'LL BE SORRY IF YOU DONT SEND IT. THANKS DIRECTOR OF ORKUT, TIM BUISKI. WHOEVER DOESNT SEND THIS MESSAGE, YOUR ACCOUNT WILL BE DEACTIVATED AND IT WILL COST YOU $ 10.00 A MONTH TO USE IT"


Lets intercept the truth (as usual)!!!!;)
First Orkut is by Google so its bound to be free!! (As per Google's reputation and history)
And most important, there is no TIM BUISKI in orkut team!
Check it out on wikipedia!!

Also following FAQ is taken from an Orkut Help page...

Are you planning to charge orkut users?
orkut is a free service, and there are currently no plans to charge for orkut.

If you receive messages or emails about orkut becoming a paid service, please disregard them; they're a hoax. Major changes to orkut are always posted on the "News" section of orkut.com, so if you're ever in doubt about the authenticity of an email you receive, please refer to the News section for the real scoop.

We hope you'll continue to use orkut to stay connected to old friends and new -- for free!

The point behind writing all this is to stop spamming!
So please next time you get a mail like above delete it! Still if orkut sends you a bill of $10, contact me and I'll pay for you... :-)

Stay Awesome!!
Comix...