D.O.A. ....Worth it or Crap ??

'Dead or Alive' will be considered a complete waste of time by any chick with feminine tendencies around the world and the most beautiful pastime there is by any guy....why??Here's why:

1. No originality.The director has tried to make a rip off from Mortal Kombat.....the whole dumb fighting tournament thing....beat each others brains out and win

2. Lots of cute girls but sorry chikas...no eye candy for you!!

3. Weird techno stuff....there are sunglasses which predict your opponents moves , predict how badly you're gonna be beaten up and what you should do to avoid it...and your normal homo sapien brain is supposed to process all this before your ultra fast opponents fingers tear your larynx out.

4. Holly Valance (drool drool) she looks nothing short of gorgeous in the movie...defintely worth standing in the shitty ticket line for...guys!!lol

The characters:

Kasumi-
A Japanese princess from the temple of somethin-or-the-other whos out to find her bro who supposedly died in the DOA tournament....she has the ability to throw off her kimono while jumping of cliffs, produce hang gliders from nowhere (rolls eyes) and beat up guys with muscles the size of her face...

Christie-
The hottest thief on the planet!!her entry in my opinion is the only thing really worth watching in the movie...beating up 3 policemen with guns with a towel , dressing up while thramming them and escaping while shoving an old gentleman into a suitcase...what more could you ask for in a girl huh??

Tina-
This one is a misfit....a sad attempt to add a comic twist to the movie...shes a wrestler for gods sake!! During the tournament she manages to beat up a guy with green hair, greeen moustache and green beard who flirts with her all the damn time and she also manages to beat up her
father...

Ayane-
A deadly samurai assassin out to kill Kasumi the traitor of her clan with her mighty sword....
Oh and one more thing....she had purple hair...I mean C'MON!! They get time to color their hair in the Ishikari Mountains?? And the so called mighty sword that manages to cut through everything cant cut through a lampshade stand in kasumis hand...

Kasumis Brother-
Can't remember the dudes name...this supposedly dead guy reveals himself near the end. He's supposed to be the greatest fighter alive but all he's managed to do while he was away is seemingly get a haircut....the villian (cant remember his name either) thrams the shit outta him.
He also has an annoying tendency to waste his time smooching Purple Hair Ayane while his sister is getting the life drained outta her...

But in the end, good prevails and all is well in the world and blah blah blah...

There are a few more characters but they're not really worth mentioning...not unless you wanna be bored outta your pants..

Basically if you're so bored that your dog running around in circles excites you.....go watch D.O.A.


Cheers!!